These Autumn Movies Depict the Bizarre and Chaotic Reality of Motherhood

At the opening of Mary Bronsteins If I Had Legs Id Kick You, a childs voice offscreen declares, Mommy is stretchable. Daddy is hard. This line sets the stage for a film that examines the extreme flexibility and endurance expected of mothersand what happens when that limit is reached. Bronstein and Lynne Ramsays Die, My Love, released only two weeks apart this fall, both confront maternal trauma as an immediate, ongoing experience rather than a memory of the past.

In If I Had Legs Id Kick You, Rose Byrne portrays Linda, a woman balancing care for her ailing daughter with the demands of her career as a therapist. Lindas life is a series of conflicts: debating treatment options with her daughters doctor, wrestling with the notion of put your oxygen mask on first, and attending therapy sessions herself, which only deepen her exhaustion. The film visually reinforces her struggle with a growing leak in her apartment ceilinga metaphorical and literal hole representing unresolved trauma and loss.

Meanwhile, Die, My Love focuses on Grace (Jennifer Lawrence), navigating pregnancy and the early stages of motherhood while battling postpartum depression. Much like Linda, Graces family and surroundings remain partially obscured: her babys name and face are withheld until the end, emphasizing the isolating intensity of her maternal experience. Graces days are monotonous and punctuated by small rebellions and surreal hallucinations, illustrating the clash between her identity and the demands of motherhood.

Both films are set against the contemporary realities of motherhood in the United Statesabortion restrictions, high maternal mortality rates, and limited support for new parents. By tuning into the central womens perspectives, Bronstein and Ramsay depict the raw, chaotic, and often unacknowledged emotional labor of mothers. Graces interactions with her largely absent husband, Jackson, and Lindas strained relationships highlight the disconnect between societal expectations and lived experience.

In private moments, both women find spaces to confront their frustrations and fantasies. Linda retreats to a field with wine, while Grace navigates her home in acts of minor rebellion. These actions reveal their awareness of societal definitions of good motherhood and their own perceived failures. Not everyone can do it. I cant, Linda admits to her therapist, demonstrating the vulnerability and self-assessment mothers often face.

The films are part of a recent wave examining motherhoods complexities. Earlier works such as Tully (2018) and The Lost Daughter (2021) depicted maternal ambivalence, while 2024s Nightbitch and this summers Freakier Friday explored the surreal and absurd facets of mothering. Bronstein and Ramsay, however, ground their films in the present moment, portraying maternal life as a series of precarious cliffsan ongoing state of uncertainty and strain.

In both stories, mothers are unheard despite their visible struggle. Linda seeks help yet is met with silence; Grace physically collides with her environment in moments of distress. Even well-intentioned partners fail to alleviate their suffering. Yet small victories emerge: Grace returns from inpatient care and bakes a cake reading Mommys home, symbolizing both survival and the persistent fragility of maternal life. Bronstein and Ramsay leave these questions unresolved, immersing audiences in the intense, often suffocating realities of motherhood.

Both films deliver unflinching portraits of maternal experience, highlighting the internal chaos, societal pressures, and personal resilience inherent in modern parenthood.

Unveiling the Intensity of Maternal Struggles in Modern Cinema

The two films, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You by Mary Bronstein and Die, My Love by Lynne Ramsay, delve deeply into the complexities of contemporary motherhood, offering a raw and unfiltered perspective on the emotional and psychological labor mothers endure. Both films, though distinct in their approach, share a common thread: the portrayal of motherhood not as a nostalgic, idealized experience, but as a constant, evolving struggle shaped by external pressures and internal battles.

In If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, Rose Byrne's portrayal of Linda captures the exhausting balancing act many mothers face—juggling the care of a sick child with the demands of a professional career. The film’s symbolism, such as the growing leak in Linda’s apartment ceiling, visually reinforces the theme of unresolved trauma and loss that weighs heavily on mothers. This visual motif, alongside Linda’s interactions with her therapist, highlights the emotional toll of trying to meet societal expectations of motherhood while coping with personal and familial struggles.

Similarly, Die, My Love centers on Grace (Jennifer Lawrence), whose battle with postpartum depression and the early stages of motherhood is marked by isolation and existential questioning. The withholding of key details, such as the name and face of her child, emphasizes the solitude of Grace’s experience. Her moments of rebellion and surreal hallucinations further underscore the dissonance between her own identity and the societal imposition of motherhood.

Both films provide a candid examination of the systemic challenges mothers face in the United States, from restrictive abortion laws to high maternal mortality rates. By focusing on the lived experiences of these women, Bronstein and Ramsay emphasize the societal invisibility of maternal struggles, where well-meaning partners and caregivers often fall short in providing adequate support. Despite the weight of these pressures, the films offer glimmers of hope, as small victories—like Grace’s return from inpatient care and Linda’s brief moments of escape—remind us of the quiet resilience mothers display daily.

Ultimately, these films stand as part of a growing wave in contemporary cinema that questions and redefines motherhood. Whereas earlier works like Tully and The Lost Daughter explored maternal ambivalence, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You and Die, My Love anchor their narratives in the immediate, ongoing experience of motherhood. Through their stories, Bronstein and Ramsay invite audiences to confront the often-unseen labor of motherhood, a task that remains physically and emotionally draining yet undeniably central to the fabric of family and society.

Sources:

• These Fall Films Capture How Weird and Chaotic Motherhood Really Is