Immigrant Mothers Discussing ICE with Their Children

Immigrant mothers in the U.S. are increasingly forced to teach their children how to navigate the harsh realities of living under the constant threat of ICE. With immigration policies tightening, many families are preparing for the possibility of separation, teaching their children survival strategies in the face of fear.

In the United States, immigrant mothers face a harsh reality: raising their children in an environment filled with fear, knowing that immigration enforcement policies could potentially tear their families apart. These mothers, many of whom live under the constant threat of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), are compelled to teach their children how to navigate a new, frightening reality. This new “Talk” prepares their children for the possibility of separation and even detention.

The Impact of Immigration Policies

Ana, a 38-year-old Mexican-American woman from Detroit, Michigan, never anticipated that she would have to teach her children how to respond if ICE showed up at their door. Born and raised in a neighborhood with a strong Latinx community, Ana grew up sheltered from the fears many immigrant families face. Her grandparents arrived in the U.S. legally from a small town in Jalisco, Mexico. However, everything changed in 2012 when she began dating her now-husband, who is undocumented.

Ana recalled feeling distressed when they first started dating, as her husband could not take her out on dates due to his lack of a Social Security number. Over time, her understanding of immigration issues deepened, especially as U.S. immigration policies became stricter during the second term of the Trump administration. Today, her children, who are U.S. citizens, are taught how to react in the event of an ICE encounter. "Memorize our home address, take Daddy’s phone, hit record, and call Mom," Ana instructs them.

Widespread Fear Among Immigrant Families

Across the country, immigrant mothers, along with those partnered with immigrants, face the emotional burden of preparing their children for encounters with ICE. In the past year alone, the U.S. government allocated $75 billion to construct new detention centers, hire more immigration officers, and intensify ICE operations. Although initial promises focused on detaining immigrants with criminal convictions, studies reveal that one-third of individuals arrested by ICE in 2025 had no criminal records. These people include childcare workers, high school honor students, and parents on their way to work.

This has resulted in immigrant mothers increasingly having to prepare their children for what has become known as "The Talk" — a conversation about surviving ICE encounters. For generations, Black American mothers have prepared their children for police interactions, often centered around race-based violence or the threat of arrest. Now, immigrant families are facing a similar reality — one that revolves around the fear of family separation due to ICE.

The Reality of Immigrant Mothers

Dania Santana, an Afro-Dominican woman living in North Carolina, has had to explain to her children the risks they face because of both their racial identity and immigration status. Santana’s children experience different reactions based on their appearances. Her youngest son, who looks stereotypically Latinx, is treated one way, while her 14-year-old son, who is Black, faces different responses. Santana, who moved to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic at 25, had little knowledge of the country’s racial dynamics. However, over time, she realized the discrimination immigrants of color face, particularly when it comes to law enforcement and immigration raids.

"I always get different reactions from people about who is acceptable or cute and who is the opposite," Santana explained. She went on to say that her children receive distinct treatment from Black, Latino, and White people, depending on how they look. These experiences led her to have different conversations with her children, teaching them how their race and immigration status might impact how others treat them.

Preparing for the Worst-Case Scenario

To ensure her children’s safety, Santana closely monitors their movements. She even follows them to nearby Starbucks when they hang out at the mall. She has considered leaving the U.S. entirely if the situation worsens. "I’ve been very clear with them that the moment I see things turning, we will be looking into leaving the country," she said. Her youngest son became anxious after hearing about the deployment of the National Guard, asking if they would have to leave everything behind. Ana shares similar concerns and has taught her children specific instructions for an ICE encounter: "Memorize our home address, record on Daddy’s phone, and call Mom." This type of preparation is an unfortunate reflection of the political climate under the Trump administration, which drastically increased immigration enforcement efforts.

The Psychological Toll of Immigration Enforcement

Research suggests that children of immigrants, especially those frequently exposed to immigration enforcement, may experience higher risks of psychological distress and poor health outcomes over time. For Black and Brown children, encounters with law enforcement — whether ICE or local police — are disproportionately likely to result in racial profiling, fear, and trauma. Immigrant mothers not only face the usual worries of parenthood but must also raise their children with the constant awareness that their families could be torn apart at any time due to immigration raids.

Lessons of Survival

For many immigrant mothers, preparing their children to survive ICE encounters involves teaching them about their rights and what to do if they are separated. Maya, a 35-year-old woman from India, had not anticipated having to address immigration enforcement issues with her young son until the election of Donald Trump brought these concerns to the forefront. Maya, who holds a green card, has taught her son what to do if they are ever separated: "Say, I want my Mommy, I want my Daddy." The uncertainty of her legal status and the looming threat of ICE detention have profoundly affected her family’s daily life. "My son is only three, and there’s only so much he can understand. I’m constantly grappling with how to protect his innocence while ensuring he knows what to do if something happens," Maya shared.

Her nanny, who is undocumented, adds another layer of stress, as Maya fears ICE might target her nanny while she’s out with her son. Maya has struggled to find resources to help her navigate these difficult conversations. Living in a predominantly White town in New Jersey, she feels isolated in her experience and finds it hard to connect with other mothers who don’t share the same anxieties. Despite these challenges, Maya is determined to teach her son about safety and awareness in the face of a deeply politicized climate surrounding immigration enforcement.

Support and Resources for Immigrant Families

Linda López Stone, an Ecuadorian immigrant residing in Utah, has taught her three children about their rights and how to remain silent if questioned by law enforcement. "No digas nada" ("Don’t say anything") is her primary piece of advice. Stone’s children, who are active in their communities, also understand the importance of supporting other people of color. She has instilled in them the value of being allies to those facing similar threats.

Looking Ahead

As the U.S. government continues to increase immigration enforcement, families like Ana’s are forced to prepare for the worst-case scenario. These mothers, often isolated in their communities, are raising children in a climate filled with fear but also a strong desire to protect their families. The emotional toll of this situation is overwhelming, and the responsibility of teaching children how to survive in a world that views them as potential targets is a difficult but necessary task.

Sources:

• Immigrant mothers teaching children to survive ICE encounters
• The Emotional Toll of Immigration Enforcement
• Fear and Survival: Immigrant Families and ICE
• How Immigrant Mothers Are Talking to Their Children About ICE