Gavin Newsom Mocks Trump’s MRI Memo with Brutal Parody Medical Report

California Governor Gavin Newsom (D) continued his playful jabs at former President Donald Trump after the White House disclosed what it described as the findings of Trumps mysterious October MRI. According to a report from presidential physician Sean Barbabella, the preventative scan revealed Trump to be in excellent overall health, with cardiovascular and abdominal imaging deemed perfectly normal.

In response, Newsoms team issued a parody medical statement mimicking Trumps style of communication. The note humorously claimed, Im pleased to report that nothing about the Governors health is merely normal. Governor Newsom remains the healthiest human currently alive or recorded in medical history.

The spoof letter highlighted that Newsoms arteries were shimmering and his bone density exceptional. It also poked fun at recent questions regarding Trumps stamina, noting, While we do not typically comment on the health of other elected officials, well simply note that Governor Newsom completes full workdays without falling asleep in meetings, does not require executive time to lie down and watch TV during work hours, and is able to stand upright without looking like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

The humorous assessment concluded with the statement that Newsom remains the healthiest person alive and ever to live, and was signed by the fictional Dr. Dolittle.

View the full satirical summary of Governor Newsoms advanced imaging results

Author: Sophia Brooks